On Loop

This is the last time I’m asking you why, you break my heart in a blink an eye…I… I… I… don’t really know…

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Superhero “NO”

Today I went on a vacation. Not on a far away place, just here at the comfort of my own apartment. A time to be distant from your usual daily grind is always refreshing. It makes you see a whole new perspective. It makes you realize what you are missing out. It allows you to think your life through, if not thoroughly. If there is anything this day had taught me, I learned how crucial it is to say “no”.

There’s this little sideline offered by my friend about a year ago. I never actually practiced bookkeeping aside from school work, so I honestly do not have any idea if the real-world accounting and taxation will be much like the theoretical cases we have during practice exercises and exams. Having that enormous doubt in myself if I could pull it off or not, I have said “yes”…just because I was already caught in hot water and there’s no turning back then. I know now it is a BIG mistake.

I am literally in the dark! Lost and always trying to cope up on the requirements. I have no one to ask, and Google is not of much help either. It makes me feel guilty thinking my client could have had better options. Though budget is a consideration, I am sure she can find someone else with a broader experience for the job. I have tried my hardest to extend the best service I could… but I could feel it is still not enough.

Now that it is almost over (thank God it’s already April), I look back in the past months with lessons and not much regrets. From now on, I promise to myself that I will say “no”. NO when I feel uncertain about it. NO when I will not enjoy doing it. NO when I sense that it will cost me more sacrifice than gain on my personal resources. And the list might go on but I know now. As they say, the best lessons in life are learned the hard way. Life goes on for the better version of ourselves. Cheers!

Negatives

Weekends!!! Oh how I wish this day would come sooner. Hahaha! This week was a tough one, there’s no denying that. A very busy one. A very stressful one. Atleast for me. Sigh. But I know I’m not alone. Okay.

This week made me realize how lacking I am in areas concerning how to deal with people. I was always this tolerating one… it’s quite hard for me to say ‘no’ actually. I almost always find a way to accommodate requests, be it adhoc or not. As much as I do not want it to come to this, sometimes it gets to the point of sacrificing my own time and being on the receiving end of all hardwork. I don’t normally complain until I can’t take it anymore. And I have reached my boiling point I guess. Ugh! I hate this about me. And now I’m ranting…resenting. This is bad I know. Enough.

There were things I hoped God would give me the courage to say but I’m glad He denied me that. If there is anything I have learned by heart in the story of my life, that would be to be careful with the words coming out of my mouth. Be extra careful, I say. You could easily utter anything when your emotions are running high. If it’s good then there is little/no problem. If it’s bad, reality is you can never take them back. Feelings could get hurt, relatioships could be destroyed, bridges can be ultimately burned. All because of words. So for all the things that went bad this week, I’m still grateful for that pinch of patience left in me that prevented me from doing things I could not get undone. I know it saved me. I just know it did.

For whatever it is that has happened and will happen, I just want to be positive and believe that I did the right thing. At the end of the day I hope that would change something. And for all these negativity going over and over in my head, I want to trust that it will all get better eventually and just disappear. Like boom!  ㅋㅋㅋ 🙂

Sweets and Dates

Valentine’s Day may be long over but sweets are definitely not! Happy to share these chocolates and “dates” from a friend who is currently based in Dubai for work. Pasalubongs are gifts, right? And I couldn’t be any happier getting one. Hahaha! *happy mood*

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Actually, I was quite hesitant to receive it at first, taking into note how rough the past years have been between us. But people forgive. We learned our lesson. We move on. And it’s going smoothly between us so far. As friends. I must admit it took a lot of maturity to get to where we are now… and I am quite proud of myself for it. Hopefully it goes the same way for him.

Moving back, as I have been informed, “dates” are much like the local delicacy of the country. They’re really good! Pardon my poor describing skills. They’re like big prunes with a peacan brittle on top. A preserved fruit, so to speak. My first time to try it and yes, they’re really good. Hahaha! I would no longer comment on the chocolates. You know how great they are… especially in relieving stress.

Thank you for the sweets, Sirilyo! 🙂

Trophy

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Hey, look what I have found earlier! A new statue was erected someplace near my office building…just beside the dancing fountains of Eastwood Mall Open Parking. Not really sure why it was there in the first place… but getting to read the caption of that large brass sculpture surely warmed my heart. It’s for the hardworking BPO people – myself included, I insist. Haha!

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I was actually surprised to know that Eastwood is the birthplace of the BPO industry. I think I’m not the only one who mistook it to be Makati or Ortigas. Oh well, things were already there by the time I started working so I guess I really wouldn’t know.

I’m just glad I got to go home earlier today. The past weeks have not been so forgiving so I’m making up for some lost alone time. Work life balance for tonight.

When It Snows…

It’s been a while since my last blog post. I usually start my bounce-back-and-everything post with that same sentence. It gets old, I am fully aware of it. Maybe I’ll get to come up with a fresh hello world message by next year. I’m still thinking if I’ll write something to wrap-up this amazing year. But since A LOT OF THINGS happened in the past week, I’ll be dedicating this post to relay how crazy that week had been!

—> This was dated on my drafts 12/19/2012. I thought I had already
posted this. Damn I can’t remember what this is all about. Hahaha! I’ll try to look back and see what amazing happened here…

Wide Awake

I’m wide awake
Yeah, I was in the dark
I was falling hard
With an open heart
I’m wide awake
How did I read the stars so wrong

I’m wide awake
And now it’s clear to me
That everything you see
Ain’t always what it seems
I’m wide awake
Yeah, I was dreaming for so long

I wish I knew then
What I know now
Wouldn’t dive in
Wouldn’t bow down
Gravity hurts
You made it so sweet
Till I woke up on
On the concrete

Falling from cloud 9
Crashing from the high
I’m letting go tonight
(Yeah I’m) Falling from cloud 9

Thunder rumbling
Castles crumbling
I am trying to hold on
God knows that I tried
Seeing the bright side
But I’m not blind anymore…’cause I’m… wide awake

– Katy Perry (Wide Awake)

Ever felt like a certain song is written for you? Yeah, a lot of girls and girls-at-heart must have related to Katy’s new song. Maybe drawn out of her personal experiences, the song just expresses how a fairy tale could end up like mess. The prince charming turned into a liar frog. And the princess? Well, she still is a princess… sans the glittery tiara, the beautiful white horse, and the lovely castle. Her heart is broken, but her spirit never will. Chos!

We all go through this stage. For those who haven’t, maybe you must have done something really good in your past life (like save an entire country!). Haha! No, kidding aside, they say you have to go through hell to become a better version of yourself. And it is wrong to compare your misfortunes aka trials with those of others. That is unfair, to you and to the other person, because you do not know exactly what he/she is going through.

So after all the drama, there comes a time when you just wake up. It’s over. Then you just start again.

 

Summer is Over

Goodbye June, Hello July!!!

It’s my birthday month once again and I’m excited~ as always. Hahaha! Don’t you think this song is literally perfect for this month? Oh well, since the Philippines is a tropical country, July is definitely the month of rains, thunders, and lightnings. I take pride in that in a way… all my birthdays (especially during my younger years when people have yet to care about global warming) were greeted with typhoons and classes are simply suspended. Sigh. I miss the old times. Hihi.

So here’s to a great month ahead of us! Cheers to all my July birthday buddies! Happy birthday to all of us!

The Scientist

Oh take me back to the start.I was just guessin’ at numbers and figures,
Pulling your puzzles apart.
Questions of science, science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart.

And tell me you love me, come back and haunt me
Oh and I rush to the start.
Runnin’ in circles, Chasin’ up Tails
Comin’ back as we are

Nobody said it was easy,
Oh it’s such a shame for us to part.
Nobody said it was easy,
No one ever said it would be so hard.

I’m goin’ back to the start.