Solitude

Words.


The power of mere words could really struck you like lightning. What’s with the strange weather metaphor??? Well, not that you are asking, but it’s pretty much raining cows and pigs outside my window. Yes, you’ve read it right! The downpour is quite hard so I prefer not to use the correct dogs and cats context. Hehe. XP

Okay, back to my room…I just wanted someone to talk to. Maybe drink coffee with or watch a movie with. Better yet, a food trip buddy! I don’t really mind where- a simple fastfood, a cozy coffee shop, a cool new find- aish~ I just feel so down. And I need a cheering squad ASAP…nope just kidding on the squad. Haha. 😀

Let’s just say that there are consequences of trying to fit in a group. Right now I just feel that I went a little overboard, like I got into the “role” so much and now that I’m getting my “feedbacks”, it doesn’t feel good at all. Am I just overreacting? Yeah, I sure do hope that was the case. I wish this is all just stress that I’m going through tonight. And eventually, everything’s gone after a few hours of sleep. Sigh. 😦

I miss my old and “withered” high school friends. I really didn’t mean the withered adjective, just treat it as a “so-so I can’t think of a proper word problem”. Whatever that means. Sorry. Classmates, I want to feel your presence. Haha. By the way, I realized it goes both ways…but still, why don’t we see who gets in touch first? I’m secretly hoping it would be them. Just because. 🙂

You see, I’m the type of person who finds it hard to open up herself to anyone. However, come to think of it, who isn’t? Relating everything, I must say that it really took me a while, a little longer than a year maybe, to be the person my classmates knew now. Not that it’s not the “real” me, but it just took me some time to reveal those pieces that constitute ME. Okay, that’s cheesy. Erase, erase~

Well I guess I’m just a little bit disappointed with those two words which my friend told me. Bothered maybe. Is that how they see me??? Gosh. It’s so NOT true. At least, I needed an explanation…or a few words. I’m scared to be that super reserved person I used to be during my first year in college. I no longer want to use that same self defense mechanism again, that’s all. But because of this…I’m not so sure anymore. 😦

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