I Don’t Want to Care Anymore

i'm drained. physically. mentally. emotionally.

I honestly believed in you
Holdin’ on,
The days drag on
Stupid girl
I should have known, I should have known

I don’t know what’s with this day. It feels like I’m on a high, as in very emotional high. Is it the full moon yet? Is it Pre-Valentines syndrome? Hope not! I don’t really believe in such things. Or so I think… I choose to think.

There’s a saying that goes something like, we’ll cross the bridge when we get there. I guess you never really know when you are over a person until  you see, or even heard news of him with someone new. No matter how much I was expecting this (because it’s the reason why we broke up, anyway), I guess my preparation still lacked. The blow hits as hard. Why is it like that? Is that really easy for him to move on like that? It’s just so unfair. Parang wala lang sa kanya lahat. Why am I the only one getting hurt, over and over again? I guess I chose this, somehow… the day I took him back. The day I chose to believe him again, hoping it will be better this time. I was wrong. And maybe I hate myself for that mistake…

And there you are on your knees
Begging for forgiveness,
Begging for me
Just like I always wanted,
But I’m so sorry

– White Horse, Taylor Swift

Not that I cannot move on. I believe this is a process, for how long I’m not certain. I think this will be enough. I have had enough. I’m so tired crying over someone who doesn’t even care. I’m taking baby steps, slowly healing my heart…making it whole again. Because I know, someday, I’m gonna meet someone who will treat me… at least, like his princess.

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